If you asked me to honestly give my opinion, I'd tell you I was fairly social at work. I mean, I'm pretty proud of things like the amount of names I can associate with faces, having attended 2 after work social activities in 3 months, and texting at least one work friend while not at work.
Looking back at that, I just realized that two out of three things mentioned are not actually being social AT work but, uh, details, details.
The point is that if you asked anyone at work about me they'd either go, "who?" or "she's here today?!" To answer your question, yes I am okay with this.
I guess I was (once again) confronted with people's perception of me this weekend when I attended a little social occasion at boss' house. She invited our department to come eat sandwiches, drink beer, watch college football and swim in her pool.
Lorraine Pop Quiz! Which of the following activities are appealing to Lorraine?
a.) social gatherings b.) eating sandwiches c.) drinking beer
d.) watching football e.) swimming f.) all of the above g.) none of the above.
If you answered, "LOL. SHE CAN'T SWIM!" extra credit points for you for answering in sentence format. If you knew that the only correct answer is b.) perhaps you'd like to go make me a sandwich. (Seriously. I had carrot cake for dinner. Yay vegetables?)
Suffice to say I was a tad wary of this event, but almost immediately decided to so suck it up and go.
Six hours at my bosses house on Saturday taught me so many things. I've been wondering for three months and now I know: she's 52 and Korean.
I also learned that her "baby" is a 100 plus pound dog she's trained with nothing more than sheer force of will and episodes of The Dog Whisperer.
|Picture drawn to scale.|
I went through a time where I'd spend my lunch hour at Velveeta Crap Watches watching back to back episodes of The Dog Whisperer. As freaked out as I was over the dog, I was more impressed when he wiped his paws four times before coming into the house. Also, the dog speaks Korean. Or listens in Korean. Yeah, that.
The best part was that throughout the day, everyone kept assuming I was inebriated. I had ONE sip of a drink because someone said, "taste this!" so I did. During some conversation or another, I was laughing and I snorted. Everyone was all, "oooh! Lorraine you are so dra-unk!" Um, no. I snort when I laugh like 47% of all times I laugh.
Then I said something funny and slightly insulting to someone and everyone cracked up. They were all, "oh Lorraine! You are so awesome when you drink! You should be this way more often!" Guys. Guys. I'm not drinking. I'm just talking. WTF.
Apparently I'm so quiet at work that when I talk everyone immediately assumes I've consumed all of the alcohol in my immediate vicinity.
I hope you all had great, long weekends.