Lorraine Says: Fun with Failure!

So, I’ve failed VEDA miserably.

It all started because I went away this past weekend to Lake Placid, where there are things like a lake, canoes, volleyball nets, Biblical plague amounts of bugs and a slip and slide. There is not, however, wifi, making the uploading of VEDA videos impossible.

By the time Monday rolled around and it was time to record another vlog, I had a realization: this is taking a lot of time. Suddenly I wanted to do pre-VEDA things like straighten my hair, paint my nails and have a clean room. I wanted to eat lunch at lunch time, instead of recording videos at lunch time.

Mostly, though, I failed and I’m pretty okay with that. I mean, I learned valuable things about myself in 10 days: I tilt my head back when I talk so that I kind of look like Stevie Wonder in all my videos. I use my hands even more than I thought I did. I should probably ease up on the sugary sweets (or the camera adds 10 pounds.) Vlogging every day is not for me. I really have no idea what to do with myself.

Less you all think that last thing is a deep and woe-is-me observation, I mean on the Internet. I don't know what to do with myself on the internet. I keep arriving at this “I’m not entirely happy with this space” conclusion and then doing nothing about it because revisiting and changing almost three years of work is, well, work. HARD WORK. It seems I’d rather sit back, worry about it, and fail. Just fail all over the place. With cookies.

I’ll clarify: I love LttP and I love what I write here. I just don’t know what happens NEXT. I think I'm projecting my life woes onto this poor blog. But, no, seriously, what comes next?

This week I had the pleasure of meeting with Thoughtsy from Thoughts Appear. She is every bit as lovely as you would imagine from reading about her love of Pop-tarts and desserts. She’s been reading LttP from basically the beginning and she’s also semi-anonymous. So many things she said about blogging, while we downed giant salads and then scoops of ice cream, made complete sense to me.

Not many other people would get the trials of sharing your blog with someone… and having then not care or get it. 

Not many other people would get the constant, “what if someone finds me” worry.

Not many other people would get how difficult it is to pick ice cream flavors when presented with a list of a million. (Or like 10.)

Also, she brought me a box of zebra cakes. And so, this week, as I’ve been wondering about what’s going to happen next, and thinking about NOT vlogging, I’ve been eating zebra cakes.

I feel a breakthrough on the horizon. Or, at least another pack of cakey goodness.

And really, that's all I have to say. What comes next will be here soon enough, dears.

I like all of your winner faces.