It's always a little awkward following up a post like my last one. I figured the best way to combat that was to come right out and announce it. So, um, yeah. This is awkward.
"Never Pick Up the Phone" is one of the most personal things I've ever written but, yes, I will now continue with my usual programming. Namely chocolate and social awkwardness.
Because this is the truth behind every tragedy: life goes on. There's another post to post, another birthday to celebrate, new friends to make, and a hospital bag to unpack and repack and unpack and repack as we wait (impatiently).
At first life going on makes things harder. You resent the world for all of its forward motion, for making you work and making you pour bowls of cereal and making you stop at red lights and sometimes, when you least expect it, making you laugh. You resent the bills that are still due and the 9-5 you still work and the car that still needs gas and the hair that still needs combing. You resent smiles from strangers because they don't know a damn thing. And life goes on and on.
Then, life going on makes things easier.
This weekend was easier.
It was Fetus' birthday and she finally turned 21. We celebrated with chocolate fondue, over
priced and over delicious martinis, and laughter. Also, on Saturday, Fetus made us
all watch Magic Mike and she thought it was hilarious that she did. I know I'm a little late to this party (har har) but I have to say at least a few things about my watching experience:
- Channing Tatum's face reminds me of bad breath. Only his face though.
- I spent a lot of that movie saying, "I'm not mature enough for this."
- It was a really long movie, considering that it had no plot.
- Matthew McConaughey is one leathery looking dude.
- Every time I've seen Fetus after watching this, she's greeted me with a "ladies of Taaampaaa." I crack up every time.
movie was absolutely horrid. Also, if anyone ever hired a stripper to be near or around me, I would immediately stop being their friend.
Which brings me back to there being no appropriate way to follow-up that post. Perhaps strippers was not the best way, but the truth is that it's part of moving on. Not strippers, per se, but humor and friends and activities and being okay with living life.
It's taken me a while to get here. Soon after the news broke, I completely retreated. No one saw me, ever.
I think I needed that time to help me deal, to help me help Vye, but it had its consequences. I wasn't sending texts or hanging out on the weekends and I think Roxanne and I grew more apart because of it. I wasn't making an effort anymore, and she certainly wasn't, so our friendship crumbled.
On the other hand, some friendships came out of all of this stronger. I only ever cried about this entire thing, just full out ugly cry, while sitting on a couch with Venus and Fetus. Their crying was just as ugly, and I think that's what makes best friends.
Also: Penny. I was home, not talking to anyone, and she didn't care and talked to me anyways. Penny invited me to dinner every week until I made it. Penny told me I wasn't crazy for the things I felt and even if I was, I'm glad I had her there to lie to me. I think that's what makes best friends.
As many times as I've wanted to shake Vyelit through this entire ordeal, it clearly also brought us closer. She still waddles into my room, climbs into my bed and says she's spending quality time with me, when really she's falling asleep. We both completely understand that that's basically quality time anyways. And I think that's what makes best friends.
And finally, you guys. I really, really, really appreciate all of your comments on that last post. Some of them made me cry and some of them made me smile. I thanked God for every offer to pray for my family and for everyone who understands how much we'll need it. Basically:
I wish I could hug you all.
Things are better. Things are good.