I think I've forgotten what normal feels like. I'm currently fist pumping like a champ because my fever is down to 101! That's practically normal, amIright?
Now, I know I complain a lot when I'm sick. This here blog won't really let me forget that. (Evidence here, here, here, here, and here. It's been a bad couple of years for my immune system.) BUT. This has legit been the worst couple of days of recent memory. I've caught the flu before, but I've never had it cause nausea and vomiting. According to the source of all wisdom, Wikipedia, this happens mostly with children. And Lorraine.
Monday afternoon, I started with the fever, achy body, dry heave coughing, etc. By Monday night, I was throwing up my entire life. By Tuesday night, the stomach stuff calmed down but the fever was still at 104 and change. I think I worried my mother when I started forgetting words and found it hard to explain myself. Thankfully, I had enough reason to realize I should probably just shut up and sleep, which I did.
So, yes, misery. No one will come into my room, naturally, so I've spent a lot of time just hanging out in the dark with my best friends Thermometer and Vicks Vapor Rub. I also have taken to making fever-inspired remixes. My favorites include:
"My girl likes to throw up all the time, throw up all the time, throw up all the tiiiiiime."
"Brrr! It's cold in here. There must be some fever in my atmosphere."
And of course, "Advil go down the hoooooole," because who didn't love Plucky Duck?
I owe you all a fantastic Penny birthday post, but it felt wrong to write/publish that when I felt fantastically shitty. And dehydrated. And sore. And gross.
Okay, done now! If I'm not back to normal posting schedule by next Monday, send out the search party. Look for a trail of pineapples. I don't know what it is about getting sick to my stomach that always, always makes me crave pineapples. Weird.
I hope you still like my sick face! It's really weird looking right now, I'm not gonna lie.
And what do you know? Complaining did help me feel a little better.