Lorraine Says: Sulk

About two weeks ago, almost everyone at my job got Outlook meeting invites from the new dean of the school. They were individual, 30-minute meetings scheduled throughout the course of the day. Maybe we should've been more suspicious.

Last Thursday, I got to work ready for my meeting at noon. I watched as the first person went into the dean's office for their meeting and suddenly, a security guard came out of another office and posted herself in front of the closed door. She had a box in her hands. You know. Those "put all of your personal crap in here and get out" boxes.

One by one, people went into the office and came back out with a piece of paper and a white box.

My meeting was at noon.



For four hours, I got to sit around and think about how I was going to get laid off. I had a mess of files on my desk since I was in the middle of a special project. I knew who ever came after me to try and clean or organize it would have a hell of a job. That kind of made me smile.

I waited until noon when the dean came out to ask me if I had time for a meeting. I followed her into her office and was introduced to another lady from our HR department. I got the whole spiel about enrollment being down 21% and there being a projected loss of 4.6 million dollars. In my head I was repeating, "keep calm. Breathe. Don't talk. Oh, for Christ's sake, don't cry. Breathe." I tuned back in to hear, "and unfortunately your position is one that we're going to cut."

I shrugged my shoulders and stared them both down into an uncomfortable silence. I think they were expecting me to say something, but I didn't. They offered to help me look over my resume as I applied for new jobs. I think they were expecting a thank you, but I couldn't manage that either.

When it was clear that I wasn't going to say a single damn thing, the dean said, "Thank you for your professionalism." I grabbed my paper, declined the white box and left.

And so, I am without a job.

Seven things that made this better than it could've been:

1.) I was saving up for a vacation so I am not destitute.
2.) I had 3/4 of a pint of Ben and Jerry's ice cream at home on the day it all happened.
3.) I ate that entire 3/4 of a pint.
4.) It wasn't performance based, nor do I think it was personal.
5.) I wasn't the only one laid off. That's terrible but also makes it better. Sorry.
6.) They are paying me through the end of March and I get paid 3 times in March.
7.) I currently am blogging pantsless in bed.

So, you know.

I called my mom who promptly told me that God has everything in control. I called my (now ex-)coworkers who all said some variation of, "well, shit." I emailed the Nipclique who helped me with some great advice: eat ice cream (check!), wallow and watch terrible TV. At least for a little while.

Welp. I wallowed. I wallowed and I sulked and I watched Nikita on Netflix.

I turned down invitations to drink and be merry.
I ate three bowls of cereal in one day, for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
I immediately lost sense of time, and had to be reminded which day of the week it was.
I got it all out of my system so that I can move on and do important stuff with my time.

Stuff that isn't wallowing. Or sulking. I'm still gonna watch some more Nikita, though.
Cereal is really delicious, too.

It's funny how everyone has approached me after the news. My mother keeps reminding me that I shouldn't lose faith. My brother-in-law said, after we were alone for a second, "so, no, really. How's your mind?" Venus brought be a chocolate pudding/cake/whipped cream concoction "to make me happy." I'm kind of offended? But not really. 

Anyways, that's my update. I can check "update your blogs" off of my "Do Not Go Crazy While Unemployed" to-do list. Next up: go for a run. Hahahahaha. Let's see how far I make it.

Any other advice or suggestions? I've got nothing but time to read them