Lorraine Says: I'm Too Old For This

"Mom, guess what?"

I was in the room, emptying half the contents of all my wardrobe out onto the bed. I didn't particularly want to get dressed and found fault with every single article I held up against my body.

"What?" she called dutifully from the kitchen.

"Roxanne broke up with her boyfriend."



I heard a sharp intake of breath and short, fast strides approaching me. I smiled a little and waited for the interrogation. "I don't really know what happened," I finally said. "Honestly, I didn't ask many questions." My mother gave me a knowing smile and retreated from the room.

I told this story to Penny, Roxanne and Phoenix over lunch. I was toying with a tray of fries.

"She's always asking about if Rox ever wants to get married," I explained to Phoenix. "I often have to update her on the status of their relationship."

"I don't understand why," Roxanne said, widening her eyes at me, smiling.

Phoenix took a big bite of his wild boar burger and shook his head. "She probably thinks if your friends get married, it'll inspire you to do the same."

We all laugh, but I never told than my real theory:  it was less about marriage and boyfriends, and more about how my mother still loved being included in all the girly gossip.

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Seven Short Things About 2012 So Far

1.)  South Florida got its first little bout of cold weather last week, by which I mean, it dipped into the 50's. You guys know that I couldn't let that go by without properly complaining. I'm pretty sure my office? Was running the air the entire time. Hate the cold. Hate.

So, I just wanted to let you guys know a few of the ways I dealt with it:

- I was ironing my clothes before putting them on, even if they weren't wrinkled.
- I was blow drying my already dry hair in the morning.
- Really ugly toe socks
- I turned on a candle in my cubicle and huddled around it for warmth.

2.) I've re-fallen in love with candles. I have Yankee Candle's Clean Cotton burning in my room right now and it makes me want to run through hanging laundry- sheets preferably - in slow motion.

3.) The gals and I had our tri-annual lunch date with Phoenix.

"Last time I spoke to you," he said to me shortly after climbing in Penny's car, "you were getting ready to go to a blogging conference." That made me feel like a terrible friend. But it also reminded me of Chicago and the 20sb Summit so that instantly cheered me up.

Roxanne told us about being holed up in her house all week long. listening to emo music and sulking, as that is what one does, I suppose, after a break-up. At one point, while Phoenix in I were standing in line at Starbucks, I asked him how he was. I asked him if he was happy. He shrugged.

"You know how Rox has been holed away at home all week cut off from human contact? That's my life. Under the covers, watching Netflix..."

"Roxanne isn't actually holed up at home, though, you know?"

"Yeeaah, maybe. But I am," he responded.

I grabbed my sugary coffee drink and took a sip. "I'm pretty sure I'm holed up watching a lot of Netflix too," I said finally. "But I'm happy."

Then we talked about what seasons of Star Trek we were watching. 

4.) My answer for everything lately has been, "I'm too old for this." I know I'm still 25, but now I'm 2012 25 and that just seems too old for so many things. Is there drama going around? Is there a party somewhere? Are there clubs open? Is your life extra complicated? Have you been the exact same person for the last 10 years? I'M TOO OLD FOR ALL OF THAT.

I might have gotten a little carried away, though, as I settled in on Saturday night with my Kindle in my comfiest pair of pajamas. Thankfully, I have friends who know when to kidnap me. Seriously, they showed up at my house and stood there until I got up and dressed. Best friends ever or best friends ever?

5.) Know what I'm NOT to old for? Beauty and the Beast. 3D. This weekend.


6.) So, I bought a Kindle and I've been reading a crap ton of books lately. Really, I should never be allowed to read books because I become too invested. Stopping mid-book is hard! Who wants to press pause on a movie and then walk away for hours and hours? That's how I feel about books. All this to say that I've been investing a ton of time reading. At least my brain is, uh, getting stronger or something!

7.) Lastly, I just wanted to give a big thank you to the 20sb community. It's Bootleg Award time and I was beyond happy to discover two things:

• Childhood Trauma won for Best Group Blog. Everyone knows how much I love that flippin' blog so that was amazing. LttP won for best group blog last year. If I can just keep suckering people into starting blogs with me, maybe I'll be the winner for all eternity? #BigDreams
• LttP was nominated for a few other categories, including Most Distinctive Voice, Funniest and Least Likely to be Marked as Read. I'm not even gonna lie about how. freakin'. cool. this is. I'm pretty sure I confessed to wearing ugly toe socks in this post, so to know that anyone thinks I'm funny or worth reading is amazing to me. I feel like I just got invited to sit at the cool kid table. All I can say is, "I brought the zebra cakes, guys. I brought enough for everyone." Also, thank you to everyone who nominated me. Also, also VOTE!

I like all of your faces, as always.