Apparently people all over the Internet are very excited for autumn.
A little back story: I'm a community moderator over at 20 something bloggers and most of what I do is review and approve applications. We ask that people have at least 3 posts within the last month, so I feel it is my duty to read those 3 posts before approving.
This week alone I've approved about 200 members.
That's a lot of reading.
It's a good way for me to keep meeting new Internet peoples, though, and gathering material and discovering new blogs and helping 20sb, because I love them.
It's also a good way to notice trends around the web and feel inferior to people with prettier blogs or better writing or more followers, etc. Just kidding! Mostly.
The point is that I noticed a few things this week:
Lorraine Says: 200 Feet, 80 Pounds and As Big As My Head
"Look at how far out we are!"
I nodded at Penny as I looked back towards the shore. We were quite near where buoys marked the ocean drop off, but the water was only up to our thighs. We were sitting down in the Atlantic Ocean, amazed by how shallow it was, how clear the water looked, and if I'm honest, by how much sand was, uh, everywhere.
"What are we, like 200 feet from the shore?"
I nodded again.
Truth is, I had no flippin' idea how many feet of water separated us from the shore. I guess you can call this a Late Confession but: I'm the worst at guesstimating any sort of quantitative information.
How tall was he?
I nodded at Penny as I looked back towards the shore. We were quite near where buoys marked the ocean drop off, but the water was only up to our thighs. We were sitting down in the Atlantic Ocean, amazed by how shallow it was, how clear the water looked, and if I'm honest, by how much sand was, uh, everywhere.
"What are we, like 200 feet from the shore?"
I nodded again.
Truth is, I had no flippin' idea how many feet of water separated us from the shore. I guess you can call this a Late Confession but: I'm the worst at guesstimating any sort of quantitative information.
How tall was he?
Lorraine Says: Spam Ham Will Definitely be in Hell.
I've been trying to trick my brain into thinking that I'm broke. It's been pretty easy so far, seeing as how I've spent the last weeks answering my phone, "Nope. Can't. I'm broke." and insisting to everyone that I have to get home early, less someone starts charging me for breathing public air.
When my post-vacation/wedding/Starbucks financial woes eased up a bit, I found that the excuses I'd been automatically handing to everyone were still fresh on my tongue.
And thus, a cheapskate was born. I'm not expecting that this will last too long, but it's pretty entertaining in the meanwhile to have money in the bank and no new shopping bags in my room. (Note: I just read that back and realized that by entertaining I obviously mean lame.)
Anyhow, this whole "Financial Responsibility" thing I'm trying out has brought along some friends named, "Holy Fat Ass. Just Because It's Chocolate Doesn't Mean You Have to Eat It," "You Can't Spend ALL Your Time on the Internet," and "Pay the Damn Library Back Already." I hate those guys sometimes.
Last night, Venus, Fetus, Vye and I went to the supermarket in our efforts to be less fluffy and less broke. We might have walked into Publix, picked up a basket, and all began singing, in unison, "basket, basket, b-b-b-b-basket." (Link is probably NSFW. It's Youtube, it's funny, but it's kind of gross in a booty-shaking-way.)
I also bought Cup O'Noodles like they were going out of style. I pretty much love Cup O'Noodles. I'm okay admitting this. I'm not sure if it's a bad or embarrassing thing? Or were insta-noodles supposed to die in college? Again, not sure, but I will present you with the following:
When my post-vacation/wedding/Starbucks financial woes eased up a bit, I found that the excuses I'd been automatically handing to everyone were still fresh on my tongue.
Friend: Wanna go out to dinner?
Lor: CAN'T. I'm broke!
Inner Lor: ...dude. You just got paid.
Lor: SHHHHHH.
And thus, a cheapskate was born. I'm not expecting that this will last too long, but it's pretty entertaining in the meanwhile to have money in the bank and no new shopping bags in my room. (Note: I just read that back and realized that by entertaining I obviously mean lame.)
Anyhow, this whole "Financial Responsibility" thing I'm trying out has brought along some friends named, "Holy Fat Ass. Just Because It's Chocolate Doesn't Mean You Have to Eat It," "You Can't Spend ALL Your Time on the Internet," and "Pay the Damn Library Back Already." I hate those guys sometimes.
Last night, Venus, Fetus, Vye and I went to the supermarket in our efforts to be less fluffy and less broke. We might have walked into Publix, picked up a basket, and all began singing, in unison, "basket, basket, b-b-b-b-basket." (Link is probably NSFW. It's Youtube, it's funny, but it's kind of gross in a booty-shaking-way.)
I also bought Cup O'Noodles like they were going out of style. I pretty much love Cup O'Noodles. I'm okay admitting this. I'm not sure if it's a bad or embarrassing thing? Or were insta-noodles supposed to die in college? Again, not sure, but I will present you with the following:
Seven Things I Eat When I'm Broke and/or Lazy
Lorraine Says: I'm That Girl
If I were to make a list of the things in life that pleased me most, it would definitely be a list comprised of simple things. And a lot of chocolate.
Last night, I sat on a couch with Venus, Fetus, a large blanket, glasses of leftover sparkling wine from their mother's wedding, the Emmy's on TV, chips, M&M's and other assorted snacks.
As I carefully unwrapped a zebra cake and took a deep drink out of my glass, Venus said what I had been thinking all along: we should do this more often.
It's a simple pleasure, being infinitely lazy, but we'd earned it.
On Saturday, Venus and Fetus' mother got remarried. Yes, another wedding. It was a perfectly gorgeous day, however, and the outdoor wedding with all the candles and dancing and red velvet cake left me feeling all squishy and happy. Yeah, I know. Disgusting.
It was a small reception. So small, in fact, that when they called the single men to catch the garter there were only three, and all of them were under legal drinking age. When they called the single ladies to catch the bouquet, I tried really hard to be invisible, but in case you were wondering, you can't become invisible just with really hard wanting.
Last night, I sat on a couch with Venus, Fetus, a large blanket, glasses of leftover sparkling wine from their mother's wedding, the Emmy's on TV, chips, M&M's and other assorted snacks.
As I carefully unwrapped a zebra cake and took a deep drink out of my glass, Venus said what I had been thinking all along: we should do this more often.
It's a simple pleasure, being infinitely lazy, but we'd earned it.
It was a small reception. So small, in fact, that when they called the single men to catch the garter there were only three, and all of them were under legal drinking age. When they called the single ladies to catch the bouquet, I tried really hard to be invisible, but in case you were wondering, you can't become invisible just with really hard wanting.
Lorraine Says: Punctuated.
On Labor Day, after Vyelit, Penny and I spent some time at the beach and stuffing our faces with frozen yogurt, we decided to catch a movie. Or rather, Vyelit decided for us, after I hemmed and hawed and Penny "whatever you guys want to do"ed us.
Vyelit yelled at us several times about being the worst decision makers of all time. This isn't news to me. And, I mean, it isn't really that I can't make decisions. I'm pretty sure I could make any decision given enough time, chocolate and a thought cloud or pro/con list of some sort. Don't you judge me.
Anyways, despite knowing this about myself, I downplayed it in front of Vyelit and made all sorts of mature "I CAN TOO MAKE DECISIONS," comments. We bought our movie tickets and headed towards theater 15 when suddenly I was faced with this:
Vyelit yelled at us several times about being the worst decision makers of all time. This isn't news to me. And, I mean, it isn't really that I can't make decisions. I'm pretty sure I could make any decision given enough time, chocolate and a thought cloud or pro/con list of some sort. Don't you judge me.
Anyways, despite knowing this about myself, I downplayed it in front of Vyelit and made all sorts of mature "I CAN TOO MAKE DECISIONS," comments. We bought our movie tickets and headed towards theater 15 when suddenly I was faced with this:
Lorraine Says: History
"Full," Penny read on the sign that blocked off the parking garage we were headed to. "Uh... so now where do I park?"
"Pfft," I shrugged. "We park in that same spot every time we come to the beach."
"We can just go down to the Dania pier," Vyelit offered.
"Woah," Penny smiled. "I haven't been down there in so long. Roxanne and I used to go all the time in high school."
We drove the short distance towards Dania Beach as Penny marveled at how things had changed.
"Yeah, last time I was here, there was no playground. But that was when I was like 14 or 15."
"Ten years ago," I offered disbelievingly.
Ten years ago.
When exactly did I get old enough to have things that seemed like yesterday be ten years ago?
Ten years ago, I was dropped off in front of Horsey High, wearing the outfit I'd poured over for a couple of weeks. I remember it clearly, in all its terrible glory:
"Pfft," I shrugged. "We park in that same spot every time we come to the beach."
"We can just go down to the Dania pier," Vyelit offered.
"Woah," Penny smiled. "I haven't been down there in so long. Roxanne and I used to go all the time in high school."
We drove the short distance towards Dania Beach as Penny marveled at how things had changed.
"Yeah, last time I was here, there was no playground. But that was when I was like 14 or 15."
"Ten years ago," I offered disbelievingly.
Ten years ago.
When exactly did I get old enough to have things that seemed like yesterday be ten years ago?
Ten years ago, I was dropped off in front of Horsey High, wearing the outfit I'd poured over for a couple of weeks. I remember it clearly, in all its terrible glory:
Lorraine Says: I Noticed You Noticing Me
There are times in life when you look at yourself square in the eyes and think, "I'm feeling ______ way because of ______ reasons."
Right now, I'm at a time in my life when I look at myself square in the eyes and think, "....uh...der." This is usually followed by drool.
And, I mean, I guess I could delve into my own brain and try and figure out what has me all "der" (which is totes a scientific term) but I think I'd rather admit to myself that sometimes, I'm just not that deep. So, with no major revelations and no grand adventures to speak of, I bring you a few jumbled observations:
Penny, Vye and I made it out to breakfast, the beach and a movie on Monday. It was a perfect beach day, and I hear that all of sudden, some of you parts of the country are chilly? I've seen about a thousandy posts about people being oh-so excited for fall to be here so they can wear boots and fur or something. I don't know. I think I'll take a few more days like this:
Right now, I'm at a time in my life when I look at myself square in the eyes and think, "....uh...der." This is usually followed by drool.
And, I mean, I guess I could delve into my own brain and try and figure out what has me all "der" (which is totes a scientific term) but I think I'd rather admit to myself that sometimes, I'm just not that deep. So, with no major revelations and no grand adventures to speak of, I bring you a few jumbled observations:
Penny, Vye and I made it out to breakfast, the beach and a movie on Monday. It was a perfect beach day, and I hear that all of sudden, some of you parts of the country are chilly? I've seen about a thousandy posts about people being oh-so excited for fall to be here so they can wear boots and fur or something. I don't know. I think I'll take a few more days like this:
Lorraine Says: Unpacking
After coming back home from Chicago, my bags sat in the middle of my room, still packed for almost a week. Taunting me. Judging me. Some of that procrastination had to do with being back to work right away. Most of it, however, was unadulterated laziness. Exhaustion.
I did, however, finally manage to get my self fully unpacked and settled. And just like that, Saturday morning, I was up at 8am, stuffing my bags again, this time with everything I imagined I might need in preparation for a wedding. Safety pins. Someone might tear something. Make-up. All of it. Tooth brush. Don't want bad breath to make it down the aisle first. Zebra cakes. A girl's got to eat.
If you think I'm joking about the zebra cakes, you don't know me at all.
I did, however, finally manage to get my self fully unpacked and settled. And just like that, Saturday morning, I was up at 8am, stuffing my bags again, this time with everything I imagined I might need in preparation for a wedding. Safety pins. Someone might tear something. Make-up. All of it. Tooth brush. Don't want bad breath to make it down the aisle first. Zebra cakes. A girl's got to eat.
If you think I'm joking about the zebra cakes, you don't know me at all.
Lorraine Says: They Will Still Kill You
"Bueno," my mother said, wrapping up our brief conversation. "Just be careful."
"I am! But it's really nice here. People are very nice and helpful."
"Well, that's how they trick you."
"Mom, I'm not saying that I'm letting people in my room," I clarified, "just that people are more polite here."
"Si pero, they will still kill you."
"Okay, mom," I sighed. "I'll be careful."
"I am! But it's really nice here. People are very nice and helpful."
"Well, that's how they trick you."
"Mom, I'm not saying that I'm letting people in my room," I clarified, "just that people are more polite here."
"Si pero, they will still kill you."
"Okay, mom," I sighed. "I'll be careful."
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