Lorraine Says: However.

"The sign said 'no turn on red' so I stopped and the lady behind me just started honking and honking. I was so peesed off. So I got out of my car..."

Laughter filled the lunch room.

"Jefa, you did NOT."

"Oh, yes I did. I got out of my car at the red light. I hate when people honk at me. I yelled, 'do you see the sign? DO YOU SEE IT?'"

Jefa acted the rest of the story out, including the part where she yelled, "and your mom's the bitch!" At five feet tall and almost 60 years old, it was a story you wouldn't expect from her.

It started a lunch time conversation about pet peeves and things we hate. Things I often describe as "irritating my liver."

I was dying to share a lately discovered irritant, but I knew I couldn't. Mostly because the explanation would start with, "You know, on the Internet how..."




Uh, awkward.

Luckily, all of you people live in the Internet! Which means I can talk to you about the Internet with it being less awkward. So. Ahem.

Stuff That Irritates My Liver #5 (ish. I think.)

Repeated consonants.

Look, as a person who says annoying things like "totes" and "LOL JAYKAY," I can't really hate on/judge that brand of Internet language. It's fun. It's funny. It helps convey the perpetually semi-joking nature I believe this blog to have. That's fine.

Every now and then, however, people do it wrong. I'm sorry. This isn't a matter of opinion. I'm right. You're wrong. Such is the case of the repeated consonant.

Let's say you are texting your best friend and they want to get you to see Twilight when it comes out this weekend, but Twilight basically makes you want to brick yourself in the face. You say so. Then your friend pulls out the best friend card and they win. You want to send an "okay" text, but you want them to know that it is an unwilling okay. You write:

ooooooooookaaaaaaaaaay.

Great. Now your friend knows you are dragging it out. Here's what's not acceptable:

okkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkay.

WHAT.

No. No. NO. Can someone read that out loud for me? It says "okahkahkahkahkah" etc. That is NOT RIGHT. This has become a problem for me. Facebook statuses, text messages. I can't read a certain blog because the author does this all the time. Seeing it makes me want to light innocent things on fire.

I was thinking about this in preparation for this post and then I got to thinking about things I do that might annoy my readers. I don't have an answer to that, but I'm sure you'll all share with me. I'd insert a winky face here, but maybe some of you hate that.

I will say that I know what bothers me about my own writing: my tendency to want to interrupt myself. In my last post, I had to go back and delete 5-6 mid-sentence "howevers." I also like to add lots of words that mean nothing, like probably, might, somewhat, almost and really. Those words are like sprinkles on your ice cream: they don't really taste like much, but you kind of pour it on your sundae anyways. Oh, and hey, look. I just wrote "kind of" for no reason.

You ever notice anything like this about your own writing? Any Internet words that bother you?

A few random things to finish:

This is weird. I mean, parts of it look okay. Actually it looks a lot better than I imagined it would, but I think that's because they never show Twilight Girl talking. Best marketing decision of life. I approve.


Is anyone else watching Once Upon a Time? The show baffles me. Mostly because it isn't amazing but yet I'm drawn to it. I generally don't like Jennifer Morrison, too, but I don't hate her in this. Maybe it's because all the princes are hot.


Mystery solved.



I've already squee'd all over the Internet about this, but it isn't official until I squee on my own blog about it. So, officially: SQUEE. I'm way too excited for this movie.

I am also, however, very excited about all of your faces. I don't think that makes sense. I just wanted to use "however" again.

See you next time,