Lorraine Says: How To Become Blogger's Blog of Note

I don't really know. That's kind of obvious because I've never held this "blog of note" position before and I guess if I knew how to become it, I'd already have done that for myself. I probably would've also figured out a way to be a billionty-naire from blogging*. Oh, and have Zebra Cakes be an official sponsor. Oh, and have Ryan Gosling propose.




I will tell you, however, that titling your post "how to become blogger's blog of note" will probably give you a few hits from people wanting to be noted. I note you, dear web searcher. You have been noted.

I also want to note the curious people who have been directed to my blog by the following search terms:

"Cookie Monster shut the fuck up." - Well. I suppose he does talk a lot?

"helga stalks arnold" - YEAH SHE DOES. Did you know you can watch Hey Arnold on Netflix? You're welcome.

"signs you are a douchebag" - Sign #1: You have to Google douchebaggery.

"I'm the awkward new girl at my job." - Oh, girlfriend, you too?

Okay, fine. I'll admit that I've really been loving my job. I'm excited to work and study here and there are people here that I truly, truly like. That's so important to me, given that I hate people. 

I additionally have to admit that I'm so exhausted sometimes. Back at Paper Folding USA, my previous job, I sat in a cubicle in the back and people barely noticed I was ever around. If that sounds like I'm complaining, I'm totally not! It was awesome.

Here at this job, I'm constantly surrounded by my team, and holy shit- being social is so tiring. Do you know how many fake laughs that is? Sometimes it feels like I might break down and finally yell, "I DON'T CARE," at someone. I've already banned one lady from ever becoming pregnant again and told another lady that she was insane. I tried to cover both things up with LOLs, but I meant them. I know this makes me seem like a mean, mean person, but I just really suck at being social all the time.

I guess everything in life has it's pros and cons. I mean, take today for example. It was our job's appreciation picnic. It went a little something like this:

We get the day off for a picnic? I love these people.

I just got asked to flex my calf muscles for strangers. I want to poke these people in the eye.

FREE T-SHIRT! I love these people. 

This old lady just climbed up on a picnic table and is booty dancing with see through white pants on. Somebody tranquilize her. 

I asked my co-worker if there were going to be any team building exercises or trust falls and he said he would drop me. I love these people. 

And so on.

It was over by 3pm and I got to come home and sit around. I started writing this post, maybe got distracted by a few episodes of Hey Arnold (Jesus has Helga ALWAYS been this creepy? My God.) and it's already 6:15pm. If I would've been at work, I'm pretty sure the span between 3pm and 5:30pm would've take approximately 11ty hours. Grown-up time sucks.

I went through my follower's list earlier this week. One by one I clicked on links and checked out all of your blogs. It was kind of sad to find dead blogs. No, seriously, I squealed, "oh no!" every time I came across an abandoned blog. I was especially intrigued by the profiles I couldn't see. Blogger is all "some people have chosen not to share their profile" and then I started thinking about all the awesome reasons someone wouldn't share their profile, like if they were a ninja assassin or a zombie using the Internet to e-stalk for brains. 

It was strange to spot among my followers, the faces of people who have now become my best friends.There are also people there who used to mean so much to me. And people who have been around for almost as long as the blog. People who have never met me, but probably know me much better than those I see every day.

The Internet is a funny thing, isn't it?

13 more followers until 200.
22 more posts until 300.
6 more days until my 2 year blog anniversary.

Vote for me for Blogger's Blog of Note!**

Have happy weekends, lovers.

*I've already made $3.56 off of Adsense. If I go to a discount nail supply place, that's totally a whole  bottle of nail polish for me. Thank you, err'one!

**I don't actually know if there is a vote. I'm just making this up as I go along, people.