Lorraine Says: Car Wash

I washed my car this weekend. Washing my car is one of those things I do a lot less than I should. Not only because it's nice to keep your things clean, but because it always makes me feel amazing.

Come at me, life. I just washed my car.



Now I'll tell you the real story where I actually watched as Fetus washed my car and then I paid her in lemon pepper wings. I did clean out the inside of my car, though, so I wasn't totally useless. I feel like there is a lot you can tell from a person by what they have in their car.

The tweezers, eyeliner and mascara in my cup holder says, "I should probably wake up earlier in the morning."

The three different pairs of black high heeled shoes I had says, "I really should be better at making up my mind."

The pillow I had back there says... I have no idea. I actually don't know how that pillow got back there. Maybe, "it's always a good time for a nap?"

Roxanne and Penny where in my car pre-cleaning on Saturday morning. I had discovered a few stow-aways in my purse and threw them with the rest of the mess: a small mermaid with unruly hair, a plastic Snow White and a yarn necklace with wooden cutouts hanging from it. Gailey-bird, my niece, had asked me to hold her prized possessions the previous night and I'd forgotten all about them.

"What the heck is this," Penny asked, as she examined the necklace.

"I have no idea. Wooden poodles?" I replied. I took the necklace and hung it from my review mirror.

Penny turned her attention to the plastic Snow White. Most of her parts were static, save her arms that swivelled back and forth.

"Does Snow White have any songs? Hi-ho, hi-ho, right?"

"That's not her! That's the dwarfs."

"Well, I know. I just meant in Snow White the movie. Is she the one who sings the someday my prince will come song?"

"Yes," Roxanne piped up from the back seat.

"Don't all those desperate Disney hos sing that song?"

"PENNY! Jeez! What ever happened to 'romantic'?"

"No," she replied firmly. "They are desperate. With all that 'waiting around for a prince' and stuff."

"Besides, I can assure you that Snow White did not look hot after sleeping for so long. I don't know about you, but if I sleep for too long I get those weird crusties at the side of my mouth," Roxanne said.

"I bet her breath was pretty stale too," I mused. "Plus, it's not like she was bathing or shaving that whole time."

"Someone take this away from me," Penny said tossing the Snow White doll aside. "I can't stop playing with it."

"Maybe," I said after some thought, "the enchantment was something like, "put Snow White in an eternal sleep, but without morning breath or gross crusties because that's just gross?""

"Yeaaaaah. No."

Later that afternoon, as I pulled Snow White off the floor of my car Venus asked me if I was ready.

"Ready for what?" I asked distractedly.

She picked up the frizzy haired mermaid. "To have kids' toys all over your car?"

I smiled and shrugged. No, I'm probably not ready for that. But then again, it will be a long while until I have to be.

The weather in south Florida this past weekend played nice. We stayed sitting outside next to our freshly washed cars for far longer than was needed, listening to music, talking and waiting until the wings where delivered.

"You know why I love you guys," I asked Venus, Fetus and Vyelit. Fetus smiled creepily at me and started patting my shoulder

"Uhhh," I groaned. "Never mind. Fetus freaked me out." The girls all laughed and Fetus apologized.

"Fine. I was gonna say I love you girls because we can all be bored and together and be okay with just being bored and together."

And that essentially sums up my weekend: bored and together, whether it was outside of a convenience store with Rox and Pen eating ice cream or sitting in my room on Sunday night with Venus, Fetus and Vye, all of us painting our nails.

Oh, to end, because the weather was so nice this weekend, my hair was being especially well behaved. I decided to take advantage and snap a few pictures of myself, but soon got distracted with the random pictures hanging out on my phone. I've done this before (here) and so has Roxanne (here). Here are some new random pictures:




Spotted at the Starbucks downstairs.

I'd be heartbroken too, if I lost my cock. 



Please tell me that this amuses someone else too.

Well, jeez. I've always wanted to learn that language... sign, picnic table?

I superman'ed this dessert. Whoops.

Lastly, even though I don't celebrate Halloween, and actually kind of hate it, you all should check out the Halloween inspired giveaway over at Childhood Trauma. Trust me, it's worth it. Cookies are involved.

Childhood Trauma Giveaway

I like all of your faces.

You guys are always there for me when I'm bored too.