Thursday To-Do: Remain Calm Edition

Fudge, it's time for another Thursday To-Do? When did that happen? I've only had 1.5 posts in between. What happened to me?

I wish I knew. I don't know. But, for the first time in quite a bit, I'm feeling like the fat kid who's been sitting on my chest decided to get up. Thanks fat kid.

Before I get into the To-Do portion of all this, I'll just update you all and say that we did end up at the Marlins game last night. I know I said that you can never have too much baseball, but I don't think any one of us were particularly in a baseball mood. It was rainy. We were tired. Soggy bums, etc.

I'm sure there was a game going on but we mostly took the time to catch each other up on life. Rox was glowing and spilling deets about her trip with RiSK. Pen was equally happy (if only sort of disguising it with some uncertainty) about Anthology coming around with extravagant apologies. I was sharing too, and I think something about all of our recent situations meant I received a better reaction than I expected.

So why were we at the baseball game? 


$8 for these seats:

And then of course, there are plenty of goodies. I won a Coughlan hat and we won bam bam slappy-together-sticks. And they had food, and the guy sitting next to me kept joking about putting his nuts all over me. That is, the peanut shells he was haphazardly throwing around. Thanks random pervert guy.

And then we all had cotton candy:

Penny, Rox and I from left to right. And look momma! They're fat free!

Penny: I brought cotton candy. It's called Flah-va puff.

Rox: Noooo. That's FLAY-VA.

Which brings me to the fourth set of (tan) arms all the way to the left. That's Pen and Rox's friend whom we are now calling Flava Puff. Welcome to the Party dude.

Since the game started late, we were suffering from serious ADD and sugar induced hyper-sleepies, and we were losing 7-3, we decided to cut out early. First time I've ever done that, but I still dont' feel bad about it. It just wasn't working for us, but we did have a swell time.

All in all, things are not quite like I want them, which brings me to the To-Do portion of this post. Even though things are not quite like I planned, I'm not worrying so much. I'm actually thinking of doing silly things like, "taking my time" and "getting out of my own head." Yeah, I know. Thanks, me.

The last thing you want to hear when you're sick or offended or heartbroken is anything about time. Eff time and its slow, unsympathetic ways. And that's how you feel until you run yourself into a wall, trying to rush everything. If you're like me, you might even get up and try rushing again. Once you hit the wall a few times, once your body aches and your brain cannot process anymore, you get up again and decide perhaps time isn't so bad after all.

Let's all take it slow and steady. Let's all remain calm. I wish I could be hopelessly optimistic and say some great stuff like "everything will work out in the end" or "love will prevail" or I don't know. Romantic ish. I'm not 100% sure how things will end. But I feel like now, happy and calm, fond of the slow and steady, in a place to communicate better, I can take a yes or I can take a no and I won't, you know, die.

So, here it is, my To-Do list for the upcoming week:

1. Be persistent with a certain friend who's come back into my life. I have a feeling he might try and disappear or run away, thinking it's the easier way out, but I don't think I'll let him. There is a happy middle ground and I'd like it if we found it. For now at least.  

2. Get my phone replaced. It's being a jerk and won't let me make or receive any calls.

3. Brave the sun. I'm so scared of either a.) using sun block and turning out gray or 2.) using no block and being the only brown person ever who burns badly. Real bad. But it's Memorial Day weekend. Must brave the sun.

4. Blog a tad more consistently. Even if that means more attempts at short and sweet.

I think that's all I got. It's early still. I usually finish these things by the end of the day, so if I think of anymore in the next FIVE MORE HOURS OF WORK?! I'll come back in and add it.

In conclusion,

Happy Birthday Penny

I love you so much and I can't remember what I ever did before I called you my bestie.

Welcome to 23. And despite all your suspicious, it's not over the hill just yet.

I hope it brings you tons of what you love: your family, your Anthology, shopping, vacations, a promotion, football games, life changing books, popcorn and Snocaps and maybe even another blog? One more?

Health and happiness to you.

And I hope you know Rox and I are all over your 23 and that we'll be around for many more birthdays to come.

I hope you enjoy your day 

Kisses,

Lor

Lorraine Says: Short and Sweet

Why, yes. Yes, I am. But alas, today's blog title refers to how bad I am at blogging short. I look through other people's blogs and see these cute little one paragraph updates, full of wit and charm. I take up nearly half of our entire homepage with one post, which can only be somewhat blamed on the random pics I insist on including. Okay, guys. This is it. This is my attempt at short and sweet.

Ahem.

(Does that intro paragraph count? I don't think it shouldn't count against me. Crap. This is off to a bad start. Also, documenting my internal monologue is probably not ideal for short and sweet, right? Crap. Arg. Wait. Maybe I should cut out sound effects too? FUDGE. Whatever. We'll call that little intro paragraph my foray into short and sweet. Thanks for playing along! I now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.)

Pen, Rox and I have all taken our turns disappearing lately. I think Saturday was the first time the three of us were all together in something that like two weeks. Maybe. I have a horrible memory. :) (Emoticons. Also not helpful.)

Generally, I am the permanently disappeared character in our threesome, due to the strict parental rules I live under and everyday-is-church-day schedule. Starting sometime after Pen's break-up with Anthology, she was the disappeared character. I had originally blamed it on her other, other, best friend, but turns out she was camping out in Anthology's room, trying her best to piece things back together.

The awesome thing about our friendship is that we know how we operate: One of us is going through a situation. Two of us counsel that one of us with wisdom and giggles. That one of us knows it is all true but still does the exact opposite of counsel. That one of us comes running back with tales of how well it did/didn't work. The other two of us do not judge, do not point, do not I told you so, because 1.) we knew it would happen and b.) we would have done the same thing. The saaaame thing.

So, as Rox sat on her bathroom sink and applied make-up for her Goobery date, Pen and I lounged on her bed and she told me the tale of hiding away in Anthology's room. It didn't really end too well.

Rox had been interjecting some colorful names for Anthology from the bathroom and in between trying on everything in her closet. Pen and I threatened to infiltrate her date, as Pen whined that she needed her. Rox was very graceful about it and even managed to smile and say, "you two are welcomed." When she disappeared back into the bathroom, Pen and I giggled. Pen was mourning the loss of a five year relationship, I was being reminded of the longest one month relationship evaaar, and Rox was fluttering around in heart, dolling herself up for what is now, for the record, a FAILED like-minded agreement, but a very cute, er, relationship-ish.

Rox: CRAP! This shirt is BROKEN.

Pen: Love is broken.

Lor: *giggle death* That's going on Facebook.

I suppose if I were into short and sweet blogging, the above exchange would accurately depict where we all are/were at the moment/pretty much still are. (I suppose never being able to make you mind about, uh, anything is also not conducive to short and sweet blogging. Dayum it people.)

So Rox ended up on her Goober date, and Pen and I ended up at *ahemApplebeesahem. I don't know why I'm always so ashamed of Applebees but I just always feel like no one should know I'm eating there. I eat cookies for breakfast, but I'm ashamed of Applebees. Go figure. Anyways, Pen and I just talked and talked about our somewhat similar emotional states.

We decided we needed to date twin brothers or best friends. We decided that while Rox was off having happy heart time, we should stick to a similar dating time schedule, so that we would always be able to comfort and relate to each other. It's an amazing plan, I tell ya.

We also decided we needed to watch a movie. She didn't want anything romantic or Iron Man 2, which I tried pushing on her. I suggested Robin Hood: Gladiator 2, but the trailer wasn't appealing. And somehow through process of elimination, being really full and just wanting the popcorn and chocolate we came for, we ended up at the J.Lo vehicle, The Backup Plan.

Sigh.

Here's all I'm gonna say about it (a lot probably. UGH.): J.Lo is the same person in every movie. Seriously. If a giant paper bag attacked the earth, she would be trapped inside eternally. Alex O'Loughlin is really nommy. He was also in Moonlight, a TV show about a vampire that I actually watched! Of course, I was the only person who watched it and it lasted like 10 episodes or some crazy deal. But yes, nommy. The movie was everything you expect it to be, but if you must watch it, if you MUST, take along a 5 foot tall Jew-curled best friend to shout, "LOVE IS BROKEN" at the screen every time something sweet happens. It really adds an element of fun. :)

Afterward, as I took Pen home, we joked about how "wild" our nights always are. Hahaha.

 

Sunday, after church, I was exhausted. I was so tired that I, me, Lorraine Valverde, took a two hour nap. If you know anything about me, you know what a rare and amazing feat that is. After said nap, I was super charged and ready to go. Rox was Goober-packing, Pen was super-napping and Vyelit was out and about with Loopy. So. I hollered at Ting Ting and mentioned ice cream, which meant she was was in immediately. California Tax was also, indeed, in.

We went to Jaxsons, home of the ridiculous servings of ice cream and we giggled a lot. They were generally amazed at me because I drive like this:

Actually, I drive with my leg completely up on my chair. But because I was wearing a dress I was keeping it a little decent and crossing them. Or something.

They freaked the heck out when they noticed, hence the picture. What? Ting Ting admitted to admiring leg crossing, because she's quite tall and apparently with a lot of leg comes more difficulty in crossing them? I dunno. I'm short and sweet, 'member? (Way to distract from the fact that you have failed miserably at making this post short, Lorraine!)

We had lots of ice cream, and I had fried food. Wompity womp.

Hey look! It comes with a side of diabetic coma. How thoughtful.

I like Ting Ting and CaliT. They are very, very unlike me and we often joke that had we not met through church, we would not be friends at all. In fact, Ting and I spent all 4 years at the same high school and never even knew the other existed. Finding people unlike yourself, who you can still get along with is quite fun.

Since then, it's been an unusually usual few days. Work and church. Sleeping early and neon green toe nails, which I have since made matte. Nom, matte. It's amazing that I really have no idea what I'm doing exactly, but for the first time, in a long time, I'm confident that things will work out exactly how they are supposed to.

It's nice to have someone you can talk to, and feel absolutely comfortable with. And mostly not talk to, because just being quiet around each other is sometimes all you need.

It's strange to both appreciate someone for who they are, and wish they were maybe a little different. And then I remember that they can no more change than I can. Or perhaps they don't want to change just like I don't want to. Every one must come to terms with liking what they like and wanting what they want.

I love God. I love having and relying on my faith and I love what a big part of my life it is. I love that I have struggled with it all recently, because it's gone from something that was handed down to me to something that I've been slowly finding on my own. I want a big family. I grew up in a gigantic family and I want my kids to have just a little taste of what it feels like to be loved by so many people, to live in that environment. I like that I'd rather be sleeping than drinking. I hate cigarettes. I really hate them. I do not and will never understand tattoos or most piercings. The thought of growing old and wrinkly does not bother me. The thought of wrinkly tattoos does.

As much as all of the above puts me at odds, to a degree, with an important person in my life, I find nothing at all wrong with all of the above. I don't want to change these things. And I've pretty much decided that I will not change these things.

It's what happens next that should be interesting.

Tonight? The Giggle reunites! Pen, Rox and I (and perhaps a player yet-to-be-named) (Bull Duhram reference. Yep, I watched it. +1) are going to a baseball game. As if Rox hasn't had enough baseball in the last few days! One can never have enough baseball. :)

Tomorrow is Penny's birthday and Friday we all have off. We're planning dinner and beaching and some fun in between. Despite having secured the day off, I still have to ask my mommy for permission.

Saturday, I'm heading to Naples with Vyelit, Pink and my brother in law, CheeseCream. And Monday Memorial Day plans are TBD.

Hooray for plans. Hooray for good friends and tons of yummy things. Hooray for not being written off. Hooray for small steps towards resolutions.

Hooray for short and sweet.

(Oh shut it. You knew from way up there that there was no way I could do short and sweet. Sigh. Maybe tomorrow. Nope. Probably not.)

Kisses,

&lor

Lorraine Says: Hardcore Gamer

I'm a nerd. And a dork. Not a geek. Let's talk about how I'm not a geek. I touched briefly in my last post, how I'm all over the place with my interests. I have a -throw the spaghetti up against the wall and see if it sticks- approach to my hobbies. Things rarely stick for very long.

I feel like I should perhaps up my geekiness. I'll be honest and say that I I really thought about all this because TheSovietChairman is always telling me I should play this game or that game or some Monster game, I dunno. I'm not a gamer. I mean, I have nothing against video games, but it just never worked out for me. Mostly because my parents weren't into funding a gaming habit. Here's all I've ever experienced in games:

1.  Hellz yeah, we owned an original Game Boy. It was a gift for my older sister Pink, but there wasn't a person in our family who didn't play. In fact, my father loved Tetris. One day, right after dinner, he picked up the Game Boy and started playing and he got dizzy and nauseous. So, from that day on, we had rules in our house about how many hours after dinner you were allowed to play Tetris. I think this might still be buried somewhere at home. It lived for a long time and then started busting batteries. One second you were playing Donkey Kong Land and the next your hands were covered in battery acid...

2. Besides an Atari that I vaguely remember always being in our house, the Sega Genesis was the only game console we ever owned. And of course by "owned" I mean "I was absolutely obsessed with."  Furthermore, when I say "owned" I want it to be known that I effin' owned Sonic the Hedgehog. Up, down, left, right cheat codes and all. I'm sure this is not much of an accomplishment at all, but I still remember it fondly. In fact, as I sit here Googling images and Wikipedia-ing information, the rush of nostalgia is inspiring me to eat more cookies. How serious is it? I found, and absolutely remembered, note for note, the music. I shall share with you my favorite track from what was always my favorite level to play:

Awesome, eh? Also, check out these graphics:

Robotic looking palm trees anyone?

I swear to Bob that there was a 7up bottle cap game we used to rent from a local video store (next to the Pussy Cat Theater. Hey, daddy! What's that...?) I briefly looked for it but no one wants to remember. Also, also: Toe Jam and Earl. No, seriously. Before looking it up again, all I remembered about the game was cheese on the floor, mailboxes that beat you up, elevators, and the name is TOE JAM AND EARL. Oh, childhood. So amazing.

I don't know guys. Looking back on all these memories and impressive gaming skillz, I think I may have a little geek in me. No? No? Not at all? Whatevs, man.

I leave you with your song of the day:

OH! And I was walking around barefoot at dance practice yesterday and I cut the bottom of my foot. It's itty bitty, but it's making my entire foot feel like it's on fire. Thankfully, I'd just painted my nails neon green and they look super cute. I'm not sure what that has to do with anything really.

Kisses!

&lor

Thursday To-Do: Done Edition

I take my blogging duties (somewhat) very (kind of) seriously.

Oh yeah, say you. Prove it.

Well, say I, this morning after crapping out on plans for morning gym with Rox again (you remember her right? the TOTES not imaginary best friend?) I was slowly getting ready for work, making my morning cup of coffee with that amazing Bailey's coffee creamer, and I was deeply contemplating one thing: what I wanted to Thursday To-Do. That's either amazingly dedicated or very, very sad. :(

I've been very thought scattered lately and life in general has been very disjointed. Surreal, almost. Even if I actually do something, like shop or lounge on Rox's couch after having rented Bull Duhram, deciding instead to watch two real baseball games, all the while talking about another amazing baseball movie The Sandlot and eating popcorn and Snocaps, retrospect leaves it all feeling very far away. (Popcorn and Snocaps, though? Nom!)

Any-emo, I'm scattered, for sure. So, when I sat down at my desk this morning, logged on to the blog and stared at our home screen, the only Thursday To-Do item I managed to scrounge together was "spruce up the blog."

DONE.

Well...

that was easy.

And by "easy" I mean that I've been tinkering with colors for the last 5 or so hours, only to end up with lighter versions of what we had previously. Oh, and I cleaned up the side bars a bit and added links to our Twitter and Formspring.

Contain your excitement over so much accomplishment! I love our blog. Perhaps a little too much. I'd like to think I'm realistic about it, though.

Even the whole slightly anonymous thing is sort of "meh" for me at the moment. What I've come to realize is that people knowing about the blog is only temporarily catastrophic. Case and points? Phoenix (we said mean things sort-of, he can't see the blog!) Magpie (oh great, now he's my ex and he still has the blog address) ExMarine and Stalkerazzi Girlfriend (you call a guy's girlfriend crazy in one itty bitty post and she wants to stalk you. Still haven't shared that story, eh?) and Vyelit (who said she was emotionally scarred for life after reading 2-3 posts.)

All temporary setbacks. Why? No one really cares. It's my heart and soul poured out, or maybe it's mostly about chocolate, oranges and some heartache, but at the end of the day, people don't really care. Phoenix is being Phoenix-y out in the world, Magpie has re-sworn off the blog, I assume, I'll probably never see ExMarine again, and despite knowing the place where I divulge everything, my little sister Vye would no more visit this page than she would ask me for an update on my life.

It's okay, my little blog. I still love you. And now you're all spruced up.

Have I mentioned anything about being scattered lately?

Hmm. Okay, we'll play a little round of:

+ Ever since TheSovietChairman bragged about cooking amazing curry all over my comments, I've been hyped up on having a dinner party. But Rox (you've heard of Rox, right?) and I got stumped immediately on the logistics. Like, um, do we have other friends? And would we invite them? And can either of us really cook? These seem like important points to work out.

+ Penny has been MIA. Or rather, she's being kidnapped by Barbie. It's her other, other, other best friend, who's been absentee as of late due to trying to get into medical school. Well, she graduated and is putting off medical school and now wants to do all sorts of things like "hang out with Penny." Pssh. I miss Penny. :(

+ I'm really bad with serious emotions. Even my emo is rather irreverent. Rox and Pen have a high school friend who is very ill. She caught a rather minor infection, I believe, but because of her pre-existing condition, cystic fibrosis, she's basically fighting for her life at the moment. I'm not, nor have I ever been, very close to her, but as the "prayers for CheddarMo" Facebook updates keep rolling in, it's hard for me to deal with. And that's a selfish thought, I know, but... jeez, where are those emotional water wings?

+ In the same vein, it's nice to see that everyone suddenly believes in God now that their friend is sick. I've never seen so many prayer updates in my life. Weird, isn't it?

+ Rox (come on! You remember her, right?) and I were talking about expansion last night. Much like how I started The Monkey Man Letters so I could be yucky and girly without clogging up the main posts, we were thinking about starting up a few more pages for our interests: baseball, beauty and shopping, travel, faith, relationships and dating, etc. I'll be working on getting some of that underway.

+ I need not spend so much time at the public library. I mean, as amazing and free as it is, it just keeps reminding me that my problem is that I want to do and know just about everything. I don't have one interest, I'm not amazing at any one thing. I know a little bit about a wide variety of things, and I just want to dip a toe into every pool imaginable. Knitting section? I could learn how to knit. A book on classical art? I could use that. How to maintain a garden? It is lovely gardening weather.

 

+ Kettle corn is gross. Buttery popcorn all the way!

+ I'm not sure how to feel about KFC's Double Down. Two pieces of chicken, cheese and bacon. I ran through a lot of thoughts, but perhaps the worst one was that I would eat it WITH bread...:

+ Must watch Bull Duhram. Rox (doesn't that name sound familiar?) and I have a running list of movies we feel we should watch. She's never seen the Kill Bill's, I've never seen the Green Mile, etc, etc. Suggestions? 

+ Must actually attend gym. I'm paying for them to just store those work out machines apparently, so that other people can sweat on them.

That is all my dears.
I hope today finds you all well.

&Lor

Lorraine Says: The World's Biggest Bowl of Soup

I vote for lunch as the most awkward meal of my day, and not only because 82.4%* of the time, that's the only meal I eat.

My office is located in a corporate plaza and despite having a thousand options for lunch, every single place you visit is always packed anytime between noon and 2:00. Me + large groups of people = No thanks. I'd rather wait to take a very late lunch.

This only presents a more awkward situation because 93.3%* of my co-workers bring their own lunch. What's so bad about that? you think. Well, right now, the lady behind me is slurping her soup so loudly, not even my headphones** and loud, aggressive typing can drown her out. What's even worse is that she has a running commentary about her food: "Oh, yes dis is so good! Oh Lord in heaven, dis is delicious. Whaaat?! Oh Lord I am a good cook, ha ha ha. Go me, is my birfday." ***

Add to this the fact that lady to my left is eating the weirdest smelling medley of vegetables ever. It seriously smells what I imagine Rose Art Crayons**** would smell like if you heated them in a microwave. That incredibly unappealing odor has set off an extreme coughing attack,***** which is STILL not enough to drown out Soup Lady.

"Dis soup is do dayum goood."

* These are very scientific facts and statistics. I carried the one and everything!

** Headphone. Why is it that one ear always breaks on these things?! I want to start a collection of earphones with only one working ear. You all should send me all the ones you have and then I will be epic and known for something. This plan is amazing. Also, I had a whole earphone vs. headphone debate with myself during the making of the post. Is earphone a word? I'm so confused.

*** This is all spoken in an unknown Caribbean-type accent.

**** Rose Art Crayons can suck it. They were absolutely THE WORST crayons in the history of all grade school craft projects. I would rather sit here and stare at my coloring book, TEACHER, than color with Rose Art, thanks so much. I may be in second grade, but I know the difference between Crayola and not Crayola. Ugh. The only thing I probably hated worse than Rose Art Anything was Lisa Frank Anything. UGH. THE COLORS.

***** The real "point" of this blog, I suppose if you can call it a point, is that when ever I cough a lot, my chin itches. I've never said that to anyone and had them say, "Me too!" in response. I always get a sideways eye and a change of topic. If you've ever had an itchy chin, though, you know that there is really no way to effectively scratch it. It's like the bottom of your foot. Or the bottom, I should say, of MY foot, which is too ticklish to scratch.

In conclusion, that has got to be the biggest bowl of soup, ever.

&lor

Lorraine Says: Always Cups In The Sink

I've got nothing. Since absolutely and completely spending myself on room redecoration, and subsequently getting sick and sneezy, I've done nothing. (On a side note, according to my mom, painting can give you a cold.) Uneventful is too exciting a word to describe the hum drum of the last few days. Work, paper, staples, home, guitar, ice cream, quilts, sleep, lather, rinse, repeat.

Basically, mind numbingly bored but too sick and tired to do anything significant about it. And even now, with Vyelit's 21st birthday today, as we scramble to throw together some last minute trip details, I can barely work up enough excitement, even if an itty bitty Lorraine in my head is screaming, "FINALLY! GET ME OUT OF HERE."

On the down side, this is another weekend spent with out my beef and bestest Penny. Our quality time lately has been non-existent. I've been in bed or at church, Rox has been with RiSK or enjoying the life of the employmentally free-lancing, and Penny has been involved in her own saga with Anthology. I miss those goobers.

Anyways, I've really got nothing. Okay, maybe I have something, but it'll be so close to nothing, you'll be mad that I didn't warn you. But I totes did.

Seven Nothing Somethings:

1. My dreams have been out of control. I'm blaming my week+ of stalled life activity. My mind is so bored, it's basically been creating these vivid, dramatic scenes in my head, Spanish novella style. People get slapped, there are illegitimate children running around, love triangles, men with two names like Juan Pedro and Juan Jose. Lots of Juans and all sorts of unhealthy ish.
   
2. I've been obsessed with my guitar. I skipped a lesson the week before last, and had generally been too busy to practice. After this last lesson, however, things really started to come together. That coupled with a few YouTube videos, and now I'm making sounds that make sense! It's amazing. I'm learning a few songs, and singing along while I play makes me feel super cool. I'm currently working on Ingrid Michaelson's Giving Up, hence the blog title.
   
3. Saturday, after we'd put in the new floor, and the walls were all painted my brother-in-law decided to get a head start on moving the furniture back into the my room. As he was Superman-ing in my mattress, he knocked over a can of white paint all over my brand new floor. Siiiigh. It's not terrible, but not all of it came out. The only reason I didn't die on the spot is because he's the one who installed it. Woohoo, white stains.
   
4. I really don't know how to make my points nicely. I always sound too aggressive or preachy. I can make deciding which movie to watch sound like talk about the three no-no's: God, politics and yo' momma.
   
5. I saw Iron Man 2 and I think it should just be said that cocky super heroes bother me. But Robert Downey Jr is so hot in a dirty kind of way. My sister bought me a gigantic red Icee and all that sugar had me shouting naughty things at Iron Man from the last row of the theater. I may have started 4-5 slow claps throughout. Ahem.
   
6. I've had ice cream for dinner 3 out of the last 4 days. Not being able to breathe really kills the apetite. But ice cream is always good.
   
7. I was kind of excited about the possibility of another bonfire, this time with all of the Anthology ish Penny wanted to get rid of. They are friends again, I think, so I doubt that'll be happening. I want a fire, dang it!

See?

Nothing!

One more work day, ya'll. If me and this giant box of cookies can just hold onto my sanity for one more work day, I will be in the clear. Vye's celebrations start tomorrow night, so I've got an activity to look forward to. Oh dear Lord, please just let me make it.

:)

Hope all of your lives are plenty more exciting than mine!

Kisses like always,

&lor

Lorraine Says: A Guide To Being Insane While Painting

If you will, now, please allow me to present you with a small guide on how to drive yourself absolutely insane while painting your room. Ahem.

Step 1 - Even though you bought plenty of supplies for people to help you, have said supplies magically disappear (aka stay in your brother-in-law's car) so that there is one lonely roller with your name on it. Oh yes. You will be painting alone. 

Step 2 - Be genetically predisposed to being a sorry painter. Being 5 feet tall helps. Little to no upper body strength despite being built like a linebacker is also amazing.

Step 3 - Have people watch you paint and make the most annoying comments possible. 

 

Step 4 - Have someone magically find the extra rollers when you are halfway done with your painting. 

Step 5 - Have them not help you anyways.

Step 6 - Make sure eveyone now physically leaves the house, so that not only are your best friends in another city, but now you are all alone at home, alone in an empty room that echoes back your breathing.

Step 7 - Make a playlist of songs about being lonely and songs about things going wrong. 

Step 8 - Make sure it's really hot. Start taking off clothes randomly as you paint, so that you get paint splatters in awkward places. Also, the more naked you are, the more it helps the entire insane process.

Step 9 - Hate the color you chose. Not because it's ugly, but for really illogical, petty reasons. 

Step 10 - Have your family come back home with guests, so that you are half-naked, crying, exhausted and covered in paint flecks in front of strangers. 

Step 11 - More unwelcomed comments from the peanut gallery. 

Step 12 - Have to sleep on the couch so the fumes won't (continue to) effect you. 

Follow these steps exactly, and I'm almost not but kind of certain that you will go nuts.

And I'm almost certain that I'm joking, mostly. Or rather, I should say, I'm fine. I didn't sleep well on the couch, and between all the painting and guitar lessons, my hands are hurting. But I love my new room. My mom likes it too. She says that it'll at least keep me around for another 2-3 years. I told her she obviously doesn't know that we're stepping up our timeline in the family. Introduce me to a boy and book the engagement party for 9 months from today. She didn't find it funny... :) 

For the past 24 hours, I've only seen the light of day for 4 Home Depot trips. Did I say I didn't go crazy? Ugh. Perhaps a little stir-crazy.

And exhausted. All 5 feet of little Lorraine is pissed. 

I'm really sad that I didn't get to spend time with my friends. I'm sad I spent most of the weekend working and/or alone. I'm glad I got a new room. It was a superficial change, but a good one. One year ago, to the month, started the series of events that changed my life forever. I'll never be the Lorraine from the other end of it. But I can still be a good Lorraine. I can be a great Lorraine with an awesome room and friends who forgive her and family who appreciates her and are praying really hard for the next marriage to be mine.

Uh. Thanks.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROXANNE

You are the best friend a girl could ever ask for. I hope in this next year you get plenty of all the things you love: friends, your cuddlebunny, baseball, shopping, Sephora, vacations, creative ventures, IHOP, the beach and general health, well being and important stuff. Did I mention make-up? 

Check.

Enjoy it my love and I'll do all I can to help make 23 amazing ham, awesome bacon and totes the best. 

Totes.

I love you for always beef.

  &lor

Lorraine Says: Represent The Buckle

If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?

a.) Faux-ragami projects? You really can't hate on that answer when I'm cubicle deep in paper. I sometimes think that if they paid me a little more, I could totes get behind this little transition job. That feeling sometimes cancels out with 8 hours worth of folding paper in half and in half again. Help. Me.

b.) The month of May? DUH. It's May! I have no idea where time is running off to, but it's in an awful big rush. The first quarter of the year is over, hot as balls summer in sunny F-L-A is just around the corner and I'll be TWENTY-FREAKIN-FOUR in 5 short months. Oy.

May brings Rox's, Penny's and Vyeliets birthdays, and all the accompanying celebrations. Rox is opting to go see the Sox in Tampa with the Goober, which leaves me to plan my own month end shenans. Perhaps it'll be a good time for our yearly Marco Island trip. Plus, more job searching, and gymming and saving money, hopefully, as I take the summer semester off and start fresh with my new major come fall.

c.) An April recap? If your name is Lorraine and you live at the Party, it sure does. While Rox and I were jointly angry at the world at the beginning of this weekend, I observed how horridly April had been and how 2010 wasn't treating us well. As I sat down today to evaluate and recap, I realized that April started pretty amazingly. Even in the middle when things got icky we were doing well. And when ick turned to straight ish, it was hard to remember how brightly April began. 

And so, I present to you a very scientific chart:

A Very Scientific Chart of April
(click to enlarge)

It's clear to me that I let myself get carried away by unfortunate circumstances. Otherwise, there was plenty of the stuff I love: friends, family, food, dessert, shopping, and baseball. I'm a simple girl, really. Thanks April, for all of your entertainment.

d.) Optimism? Tons of it. I know, it's my pattern to be enthused by the beginning of months, but so be it. My chart ended on a high note, though the month ended with Pissy Pants. I feel like I was just losing a lot so I can make an awesome comeback, in true Party Girl fashion. Plus, with that outlier, the sad variable, eliminated, its hard to see a reason why May wouldn't be great.

e.) Pilgrims? Haha, the Mayflower brings Pilgrims. Thanks 3rd grade for that awesome punchline. A friend and I once decided that the Pilgrims are under-loved. There are a whole bunch of people out there who can't accurately trace their background or roots. Or people who know exactly where they are from, but relate to being American more than anything else. I think these people should all get together and decided to represent the buckle.

f.) All of the above. I hate taking tests that include an "all of the above" option. I always want to choose it even though I now it's rarely all of the above, right? Unless it's a really easy, useless test where they are ALL all of the above. But it can't be that easy? Can it? If you add a little sniffling, chewing on pencils and drumming of fingers, you have my typical test-taking thought process and rituals. Pepper in a few "that's entirely way too many B's" and "I haven't had a D in a while," and you've got how I (mostly) survived these last 4.5 years in college. You, know, before I decided to go back to the beginning with a new major.

(It's F, all of the above, by the way. Happy May everyone. Below is the Music Nom Nom for the Month for April. It was on the mix Rox made for me. We played it a whole lot in my car, windows down, singing obnoxiously because it's fun and awesome. Why? 'Cause you'll never see me agaaaaaaaain. No matter what you do. ;))

&lor

Lorraine Says: Camping In Bed

I have a proper post I'm working on, and I don't really have anything to say outside of it, other than, holy jeez are Rox and I great at that whole emotional thing! Looking at those last two posts got depressing, so this is me saying all is much better now!


Why, Lorraine? Why are things better? 

Uh, who knows really. Perhaps a sunnier disposition! An amazing book on faith and penguin sex! Not finding any mint chocolate chip at the grocery store, not being able to decide between rocky road and banana split and buying them both! Having both for dinner tonight! Throwing away every single note I ever took in a chemistry class ever!


I just need to shut up whenever I'm down. Emo blogging is my equivalent of drunk dialing. Or worse, sleepy texting. Sleepy texting gets me every time.

I need a reading light. I started a few books and I usually have some reading time before I go to bed, but reading = getting sleepy and once I'm sleepy, who's going to get up and turn off the light?

The thought of getting up and turning off the light makes me not want to read. Honest. I get in bed once. I fall asleep once. There is no napping. There is no getting up. Oh, what, it's the middle of the night and I have to pee? Hold it. Or go pee and watch really bad movies for the rest of the night.

Oh, what, it's hot? Take off clothes item by item, but don't even think of getting up to turn on the fan, or worse, adjust the thermostat. Cold? Fetal position.

Hence why I've got an outdoor camping lantern next to me right now. It's the only thing I could find that resembled a reading light. Oh, WHAT EVER. My lantern and I are going to have a wonderful night.

I love you all. Seriously. I want to give you all hugs. Thanks beef for giving me space when I was being an icky person. Thank you Penny for still wanting to be my friend when I called everyone annoying and you thought I meant you too. Thanks God, 'cause you're really awesome. Thanks chocolate 'cause you never let me down. Thanks anyone still reading this because it means you probably read all about Pissy Pants Lorraine, but you still came back. Thanks bad people for taking yourself out of my life, less I hang onto you foreverz. 

Someone buy me a nightlight. 

Kisses!
 &lor